Monday, September 23, 2013

Like Usual

I don't do things here very often; that should be clear by this point. And I apologize. So, to make up for that, I'll be posting a couple things in the coming days. For right now, I'll just do an update of my last post if I can remember what was in it. I'll do my best.
If I recall, I mentioned how the only thing my weird knee-related problem was affecting was my walking. Well, since then, it has begun to affect everything. Even just sitting here, I can feel that my legs function differently. There's something amiss in the left one, but I don't know what it is. I've seen numerous doctors, had surgery, and had several MRI's, but still nobody can tell me what's wrong, and it's not getting better. I fear it may be mental, and if so, I'm not sure what I'll do.
I didn't ski at all last year because of this. When my ability to ski went from its peak to (comparatively) zero, it stopped being fun. I couldn't even make left-footed turns anymore. It was a chore. I didn't enjoy it. Now, though, it's been too long since I've skied, so I'll be back at it in the coming months. My hope is that I injure my left leg again. It may sound counter-productive, but hear me out: if I do some somewhat serious damage, I'll be forced to more-or-less start from scratch, which I believe might solve the problem. It would be like doing a clean-install when your computer slows down. At this point, though, I don't even know. It's worth a shot...
It also affects biking. My pedalstroke has gone to shit; it's completely garbage, but only on the left side.
Since all that wasn't enough, for some reason the asymmetry of function has spread through my body. Now even my left arm doesn't work correctly, and nothing has even happened to it. This is another thing that the doctors cannot explain, and it's frustrating. I've been living like this for over two years, and I'd really like to get my life back.
I'm still in Canada, going to school at Quest University in BC, and it's been a good time. I'm almost done with my first class of my third year (as we are on the block programme, we take one class at a time). I'll probably be doing a five year plan since I'll take off a block or two sometime later this year and early fourth year. It's not like I'm doing anything else with my life, though, so I don't feel like I'm missing out. Plus, I like it here, even if it does rain a lot.
That's the short version. I don't really want to say much more right now because I'm lazy, so I'll leave it at that for the time being. But I will ski again, even if it kills me. I promise.

Welcome to Squamish.

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